“Since being at LandWorks I think I now know who I am … a general direction, you know, I don’t have a job yet, but I know where I’m heading, and confidence. I’m definitely more confident. I’m trying to think of the right words … yeah, I guess it’s helped me help myself a bit, just sort of find myself and figure out who I am and where I’m going and build up a solid foundation.
I think there was a definite shift in the New Year … around the same time I found out I loved pottery … but before New Year and just before Christmas, over Christmas, it was really tough. I was like rock bottom. I wasn’t even sure I was going to make it to January and then I did and then since then there has just been this fire inside that I’ve described as a rebellion, you know, it’s not necessarily standing outside parliament with picket signs, but it’s sort of doing things for me and standing up for myself…
LandWorks is sort of safe, is one word I’d use. It can be transformative and it’s sort of … I mean this might sound like I’m trying to butter you up now … it’s run by people who genuinely care, rather than … it doesn’t feel like a job for … you know, I talk to Steve, I talk to Elli, it’s never once felt like they’re here because they have to be, it’s they’re here because they want to be and they want to help and talk. Yeah, it’s a genuine place. Yeah.
I’m a big fan of Medusa because we have a lot in common and one of the things we have in common is she’s always seen as a monster but actually, you look a little bit closer and she’s really not a monster, she’s a victim[…], but she never gives up. She’s treated like a monster, she’s seen as a monster by the entire world, but instead of shrinking away from the world, she wears a coronet of snakes and makes the world shrink from her instead. I think we have similar traumatic back stories, only she was cursed by gods, and I was cursed by myself. So yeah, we’re punished by … I can’t think of the word … unjustly, I suppose, and then because of that people view us as monsters, but actually we’re not. I certainly don’t see myself like that anymore. Yeah, she’s a bit of an icon for me. It started at uni, sort of started looking at Greek myths and then yeah, found Medusa and saw a lot of myself in her. Yeah, it’s just been an ongoing interest.
I’ve always struggled with confidence […] but nothing, until now, has managed so shift that. Coming here, something clicked and yeah, now I’m blossoming. I do stuff in the garden at home and then I’ll go and find Mon and talk about my garden or ask her questions and stuff. That’s not something I’ve been able to do before. I definitely feel better in myself, and I always leave here feeling exhausted, but just feeling good. You know, I’ve socialised and done something in pottery and had a good lunch and you know, it’s just been … I always leave feeling like that’s been a good day.
It’s just been a very special place and it’s helped me more than I ever would’ve thought possible. Yeah, it’s just really helped me find myself and that has been … yeah, just sort of … the only word I can think of is transformative. So yeah, it’s just completely changed my life for the better.
This has happened through a couple of things. One is doing something practical, even if it is shovelling compost or doing something more creative like in pottery. The second thing is just having people to talk to. I can remember spending a good chunk of the day out with Steve bagging up compost and we’d just talk about shows we’d watched, all day, and it’s just incredibly helpful especially when I don’t really get that at home and you know, friends live miles away, so we don’t really talk in person anymore. Just having that human contact has been incredibly helpful. Then having the support from Elli, you know, if I’m having a rough day I can go in and talk to her for an afternoon. You know, we can get some paperwork and that done, but you know, I can just vent, and we can chat. Yeah, you know, every now and then everybody needs a little help and Elli has always been there. I cannot sing her praises enough.
The location, I mean I know Newton’s not really London, but coming out here surrounded by all the green and on days with a blue sky it’s just its own little world. You know, all the problems out there don’t exist for just a little while. It’s just calm and quiet. Yeah, it’s really lovely.
I can spend hours in Photoshop trying to make one thing perfect and I’m stressed and thinking about it, but because anything can happen in the kiln, I could spend hours making a beautiful pot, for it to go in and just smash. So, I like that it’s … I don’t have to be a perfectionist with it, I can just relax and enjoy it. Yeah, enjoy the whole process. I’m more relaxed, less stressed.
That’s another thing I love about pottery, is that connection to history, which I obviously don’t get with a computer […] It’s been a long journey. I mean the hard part was getting to here and the rest of it now is maintenance. “
A window into LandWorks 