A window into LandWorks

“I think it was probation that recommended me out here and the court went with it. I don’t know. Whether Chris saw something in me or because he and my dad had a landscape business. I don’t know. I didn’t hide anything when I spoke to him. I wasn’t going I can’t tell you that, I told him everything. I don’t know if it’s I was open, so he was open back. Basically, you get back what you give, but that is LandWorks. As it says on the sign, it’s acceptance. That’s exactly what it’s about.

…when I first came out here, I was so negative. I didn’t want to do it. I even told Chris I don’t want to be here full-time and then I did a week, or I did one day, and I was like I’ll come another day and I was like actually this is good fun, I’ll come again. I was here again and again. I ended up doing a whole month in one go. Obviously now, eight years later, I’m still coming out for a cup of tea. I still feel like I’m part of the team even though I’m not. Like the Open Days, involved with the parking or just something small like that.

For me, strength, the biggest factor here. It gave me the … I could go home and feel good about myself and every time I talked to probation, you know, [name] he would ask how I felt and I could say well I could either be here or I could be in jail right now. I don’t know. Strength was the biggest one for me. Confidence was another one. Security was also a big one…

I made friends. Even to this day I still see this place as a safe haven. It’s almost like the family I never had […] it was like it was one big family. If I felt stressed, I always left here with a smile, you know, just no weight on my shoulders at all. Even now I wonder if I hadn’t come here how different would life be. Had Chris not done what he done and been as persuasive as he was when I first spoke to him, would I be in jail, would I still be in the system, would I be under probation still? I don’t know. I reckon I probably would’ve been, but it is what it is…

So obviously once I left here that support still continued. Chris checks in with me, even now, sort of eight years on. Eight years on he still texts me during the week, am I ok, where am I off to, what am I doing and I know if I’ve got a problem, I can just message him, and he’ll try and get me here. Like today, he’s got me in. Obviously, it’s for the interview today, but you know, like the Open Days or just come for lunch just to have a chin-wag, a catch-up.

There’s been ups and downs. Moved location, as you know. Moved up to [New Town], got a new officer up there and I think a mixture of him and Chris has been … that’s why the progress has happened so quick.

Various jobs. The job I’m obviously in now, it’s been more secure. I’ve been in this one five months now, I think, this job.

But Chris still continues to support me, but it’s what I need. It really is what I needed.

Obviously, you know, I lost my relationship, my home, my job, all literally in the space of half-an-hour and it did take me a week or two to sort of come around to what was going on, but then Chris dragged me in. I didn’t want to, he was like no, you’re coming in and you’re going to talk to Elli … alright. But she got me on … she was looking at housing for me, she sorted out stuff for the dogs, she sorted out benefits for me, which obviously I don’t need now, but if it hadn’t of been for her obviously the car I have now wouldn’t be running. So yeah, helped me benefits wise.

I said to Chris earlier, when I was talking to him, had it not been for LandWorks last year, I think I would’ve re-offended. I will hold my hands up, I’m pretty sure I would’ve done. I was at the point where I actually … I’ve still got the message on … it’s either this phone or my old phone, to my dad where I’ve said that’s it, I’ve had enough, I can’t go on anymore, I’m ending it, I’m taking my own life, I’m done. Then Chris was … he was the usual Chris … persistent … he would not leave me alone. No, he checked in every day over the last year. From the 14^th of June last year, he checked in every single day without fail and I think had it not been for him and then my dad stepping up to get the caravan, I would’ve re-offended without a doubt, not necessarily like my original offence, but I might’ve gone and beaten someone up or burgled somewhere or … I don’t know, done something. It was either that or I was going to be a narcissist on a railway suicide. So, I have Chris to thank for the fact I’m still going […] Yeah, a lot of its grit and self-preservation, and my two dogs as well, I couldn’t leave them.

Now… I don’t know, but I think my long-term goal is build my own transport company. Chris keeps going on about that … floats names of what I’m gonna call it and soon I’ll have my own lorry. I think I’ll start on the vans and work up to lorries and gradually try and build a fleet out of it. See where it goes.“