A window into LandWorks

“I’ve been on and off [heroin] for about 20 years. It’s affected my physical health a lot … well it did, not now. Well taking heroin after all these years, you get used to heroin, so you’ve got to take it. It’s not something what you can take and just stop, you get … what do you get? You feel you couldn’t cope without using it or taking something what replaces it, like what I do now, taking methadone. I’m on 60ml of methadone so I don’t feel ill, just to be normal…

How I started? It’s just bad company really. I didn’t have a bad upbringing a lot. I had a good upbringing with my family and that, in London, it was just bad company and think I’m gonna make loads of money. [Dealing] Yeah, yeah, making loads of money. I’d say it doesn’t work because as I know, you do bad things, bad things come back to you. So, you do good things, good things come back to you, and this is why I like it here because you do good things and good things come to you. That’s what I’ve experienced in my life.

In the past 15 years I’d say I’ve stopped about four times and the longest I stayed off it is about two-and-a-half years. When your life’s not going right, you just tend to go back to it somehow, meeting up with the same people you used to deal with. You just get back into it. I don’t mind talking about it.

I’ve been trying to get off it for a while, taking prescription drugs and that, or buying them off the streets, just to try and stop, but it don’t work, you’ve gotta do it the way I’m doing it now. [Need support] Yeah you do, that’s the thing, you think you can do it, but you can’t. It’s barely impossible to do it just off your own back, you do need help. Yeah.

I don’t mind what I do, but I enjoy cooking. Mostly I enjoy cooking. I don’t mind cooking for people. I mean I’m not saying I’ve learnt a lot about cooking because I’ve been cooking. I’ve always liked cooking, so that’s why I like doing it. A bit of woodwork, I’ve been doing woodwork since I’ve been here.

I cooked lunch today… it’s just nice to see people sit down and all praise you… I like that side of it … oh, that’s nice. Everyone’s saying it’s nice. I like that side of it and where everyone just sits down and just talks, you know, like one big family. It’s just nice to see that and knowing that I could do it as well and knowing that I cooked some of it.

I’ve done a bit of gardening here and there, which I don’t mind getting into because I’ve got my own garden, and it gives me ideas what to do. In my garden, I mean I cut the grass and that. I’ve got a front and back garden. It’s quite big to contain yourself, but I’ve been doing it. Yeah, I’ve been planting a few plants here and there. I like watching them grow because they do look nice in the garden. Yeah, definitely. I’ve learnt quite a bit in LandWorks since I’ve been here … how to plant some kind of plant, how to do it.

But yeah, it’s nice to just come here and just be safe … safe environment. [Don’t feel safe in other environments] Sometimes I don’t. If you go into certain places in * and you see people who are on drugs, you can tell who’s on drugs. You either know ‘em or you can tell, you know, you just know. It’s just a sixth sense. You know that there’s nothing going on here, it’s a safe environment. You ain’t gonna come here and like people’s gonna sell you drugs or you ain’t gonna use, so I know coming here for the two days that I’m gonna be ok and it just gives you a bit more experience of keeping safe, you know, as I say, you ain’t gonna come here and take heroin coz you know no-one’s gonna give you it, but if you’re on the streets, you tend to … someone might come up to you and give you a number and they might’ve seen you before and say are you still taking it? You say no, but they still give you a number. Yeah, you always get poachers, dealers. They try, you know, it’s an income for the drug dealers.

Yeah, this is the only way to do it and LandWorks is helping. This is giving me, you know, more structure each day. That’s why maybe a lot of people like coming here. I’m sure they say the same things, but different. Yeah, it’s a safe structure. As you said, it’s different for you, than us. When you come from where we’re coming from, it’s just totally different. Another day done. It’s nice to come here. People appreciate you coming as well, you know, I don’t have to come here, but it must be something bringing me back coz I could just stay home and do all the stupid things what I’ve been doing, but I don’t want to. Yeah, good.

… if I see someone and think they wanna come over and they’re gonna give me a number, I just walk away, I say sorry, I’ve gotta go. I’ll make an excuse, but before I’d say what’s happening, what can we do … we could go and do this or do that … I would get involved, but I won’t do it now. So, I’ve learnt a lot and by coming here I think I might learn a bit more. I don’t wanna keep saying the same things, but you’re in a safe environment and things are going alright.”