“So, what brought me here was I didn’t even know that this place existed until my probation worker mentioned it. Well, I was supposed to come here the beginning of last year to do unpaid work, but then stupidly got in trouble again and went to prison, so when I came out of prison I spoke to the probation worker again and she said would I want to come here just to … well, of my own freewill basically, to give me something to occupy my brain with and to get me out of the house coz I’m not in a position to work at the moment anyway, so I said yeah, I’d love to coz when I came and walked around here before I stupidly got in trouble again, I was looking forward to coming here. So yeah, so when she said to me would I be up for coming here I said well yeah, most definitely.
In a way I’m glad that I got caught and went to prison because it sorted my head out and made me realise that this is not my life, I don’t want to be doing this and obviously it kept me away from it for such a period that when I came out I didn’t even wanna … I just came out, straightaway … when they passed me my phone back when I left I was just like I don’t even want this. I deleted all my numbers off of there, took the SIM card out, snapped it, went and bought another SIM card, just to state that I haven’t got back in touch with any of the people that sent me down that path. I know it was my own fault, I’m an adult.
To begin with Prison was very scary and obviously I was a very heavy smoker when I went in there, so not having cigarettes and being surrounded by screaming and shouting and people kicking doors and … I just laid down and cried myself to sleep for a good few nights. I was in a double cell and unfortunately the first person that I was in with was a younger lad that was just constantly telling me he was gonna kill himself and stuff like that, so every night when I went to sleep I thought am I gonna wake up with him hanging from the ceiling or hanging off his bed.
But that’s another positive thing about prison, when I came out I didn’t go back to smoking. I’d already told myself after a month of being in there, I said if I’m every gonna stop smoking, this is my time to do it. So then as soon as I came out I just went and bought … I actually still had half a pouch of tobacco left from when I went in, but I just chucked it straight in the bin and went to the shop and bought a vape. It probably cost me, a month, about £30 a month maybe, instead of like £200 a month.
Prison was the kick up the arse that I needed. I was definitely glad that they put me in prison … definitely. As much as I didn’t want to go, if I hadn’t of gone I don’t think I’d be where I am now. But I suppose it depends on the individual as well doesn’t it, coz someone that spends all their time in prison can’t wait to come out so that they can carry on with their life exactly how they were when they went in, whereas I had already … the first day I went in there I’d already took it that this was my time to change my lifestyle and my life because I did not want to come back out and start again where I’d left off, and it wasn’t doing my relationship any favours either.
My girlfriend supported me the whole time I was in prison. She came and visited me every week … well, you get three visits a month, so it was basically every week […] It was nice, but it was also … saying goodbye was very hard, but then it gave me something to look forward to each week and I’d draw her some pictures and stuff like that, so I’d give her something to go home with. […] She noticed a massive change as soon as I came out. She could notice the change that was going on when I was speaking to her and seeing her when I was in there anyway. […] As hard as it was to be apart, the fact that I was still ringing her every day … but she was glad that I’d gone in there because … well, within the first two weeks of coming out she said you’re a different person. Like my mood was just uplifted. I wasn’t I want some drugs, that sort of mentality. I’d be waking up in the morning and just be like twitching wanting to … it broke her heart when I told her that I’d been stealing money as well because she didn’t have a clue. I kept it all from her because when I told her how much it was she … that was nearly … well, I’m quite lucky that she stayed with me really. She was not impressed at all.
LandWorks is brilliant… just the set up and how everyone is here … I got met with such smiling nice faces, everyone was … you could just tell it was a well-run organised place […] The fact that I knew I’d be able to get out of the house and go somewhere that … again, I’m saying it again, has structure, is organised, I know what I’m doing, there’s a routine to it, like the fact I’m coming on certain days, having that routine. When I know I’m coming here I wake up in the morning and I’m looking forward to getting here and cracking on […] and because I enjoy being here. I want to come here. I don’t wake up in the morning and think oh god, I’ve gotta go out there again. “
A window into LandWorks 