A window into LandWorks

“I’ve been here a bit longer than the usual six to nine months. Chris has helped me out with that coz yeah, I had to put things in place but I’m a lot more positive and confident leaving now… I mean I’ve got a little job; I’ve also applied at **, which looks good. I also applied at a café down the road from me. They require a DBS, and I was just expecting an instant ‘no, sorry’, but the woman was great. She asked like, you know, what caused me to get into the place, and I explained alcohol and drugs, and my mental health wasn’t good. She explained the rotas, how the place works. […] I told her I had cooking experience. I mean I’d be happy doing wash-up, but yeah, I’d be either serving drinks, making drinks, cooking, anything. It’s a really nice little café…

I wanna be keeping myself busy through jobs and eventually going on and going into full-time work. I’ve only recently come onto that, about actually wanting to get a full-time job sooner than I thought I would. I had a conversation with Ray I think it was, and it was about saying sort of like how I kinda felt trapped in the benefits loop because I would have to be on … the way I worked it out, if I got a full-time job … coz I’ve got no skills, no trade. I’d be worse off and not be able to afford my flat then and there’s no way I will go back into shared housing or live with my parents. But he seems to reckon that I’d easily make more … [working] full-time, even if it was, you know, basic of the basic. I don’t know if that’s right or not, I need to speak to someone, but there’s other options available before that, like permitted work and things like that. The thing that terrifies me about it, and it really does terrify me, is whenever I go to a voluntary place I mention … they know about my mental health issues coz then they know if I’m having an off day I can phone in and there’s not gonna be any issues … well you can’t do that in real life. In my case it’s not often off days, it’s like it can be a week, two weeks.

I’ve changed massively, yeah … confidence, self-esteem, learnt … not a trade so to speak, but part of a trade and the lathe. Yeah, I’m less anxious around people that I don’t know, but I think that’s because they’re coming into my yard, so to speak. Do you know what I mean? I’m quite anxious like with this new job, dealing with the public, coz I’ve always had social anxiety ever since I was a kid and yeah, that worries me a little bit, but it depends where I’m put, and the café manager already told me that I’d be shadowed to begin with.

I can feel more confident within myself, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Back along there would be no way … I mean this is … I suppose this is a … well it is a credit to this place but back along there would be no way I would travel anywhere for voluntary work, and I know I’m just going back to the beginning but it was the fact that this place amazed me that much when I came, it made me want to come back and through doing that, you know, it built up my confidence knowing I can do things like this.

To begin with I was happy sanding the chopping-boards coz I’ve always, like I say, the OCD, that perfectionism thing, so I was constantly being praised on how well I was doing these things, and then I think Graham kind of saw that I wasn’t a wally and asked me if I wanted to try working on the lathe and I said yeah, and I just seemed to pick that straight up. Yeah, I’ve just got better and better at it as I’ve gone on.

[Highlight] The best bit … I don’t know, there’s loads … learning the lathe to a high quality with the bowls now. I mean I say I’ve learnt the lathe, I’ve learnt how to make bowls and plates on the lathe, but that is quite basic stuff, but I’ve learnt how to do them to a very high quality, and I’m really pleased with that. My self-confidence and self-esteem and not caring what people think of me, that used to be a massive thing with me. Yeah. Socialising, I always used to isolate, and I never realised how important socialising is, you know.

I’ve done a lot of counselling with Becca, which has been really helpful. What she’s got me to do is look at things from a very different perspective. She said when it’s explained to me, I’m very good at then seeing it from that perspective. I’ve also got little Sue. Sue’s been meeting up with me every couple of weeks. I just meet her for a coffee and a chat and if I need any help with paperwork or things I don’t understand, she’s gonna help me. I think May sorted that out.

The thing I’ve always loved about this place, and I can probably still say it, today really is that I’ve not really ever heard an argument, you know, between people on placement. There’s been no confrontations or anything at all while I’ve been here. That’s what I always liked about it, it’s just a … you know you can come here and feel safe.

[Why is it safe?] I don’t know, it’s just the way … well I suppose Chris vets people before they come in, so I think he can… well, I don’t know, because Chris will try and help anybody as much as he can, which I’ve seen with the couple of people I told you who I thought were sort of prats, he still was trying to help them… but no, he still vets people before they come in and sees whether they’ll be suitable for the place, and if they’re not suitable they’re very quickly removed.

[Is it the place or people that make it safe?] A bit of both. It’s such a kind of serene, beautiful place to come. It’s like I said to Chris on the first day, you know, the first thing I noticed was the koi fish and as soon as I walked around the corner I said wow, this … coz it was a beautiful day … I said this really reminds me of Spain and it was just with the sort of netting that was up and all that kind of feel. It’s just such a nice area and the way everything’s set out and all the different soothing activities to do.”