“…well, I got the sentencing in September and was put on a 12-month suspended sentence, ‘til September, and given some RAR days or whatever they’re called, and when I went to go and meet my probation officer, you know, we had a little chat in *, and yeah I was telling her that I was just like, you know, I’d been really focused on my own personal healing. I’d been doing that for a long time, spiritual seeker and really, you know, stopped blaming the world for everything and realising that my reaction, that my emotional responses are my responsibility.
She could see that I’d been on this healing path and I was into my meditation. I’d spent some time in Costa Rica, in the jungle, in an eco-community, and I was quite keen to start my own drinks blend… anyway, she was chatting to me, she went well I think what might be good for you is a place called LandWorks, have you heard of it? I was like no, I haven’t heard of LandWorks. Anyway, she told me all about it and I thought you know what, that sounds like my kind of place, I’ll be good to go there. Actually, I was quite excited about it and in a weird way, actually coming here has opened up a number of opportunities for me that may not have been available had I not gone through all of that stuff […] So I was like well actually, you know, maybe all of this has happened for a reason.
My probation officer said, you know, you’re gonna learn all these different skills. They’ve got the woodwork shop, maintenance. The social aspect … a big thing for me … sitting around a table with everybody, coming into a place where I feel comfortable, I don’t feel judged, you know, everyone … there’s no hierarchy system here. I mean obviously people have got roles and responsibilities, but it’s very welcoming and like far more welcoming than what the scary world can be sometimes, you know, and this is the kind of way it should be, and you know, us all sitting around the table … anyway she told me about it, and I was like yeah, yeah, and you know, I’ve come here and I’ve really enjoyed it.
My first day … I struggle with anxiety quite a lot, so I tend to … I think to myself that my memory’s definitely got a lot better, but I do struggle to recall stuff sometimes. I mean everybody I met, you know, I came and said hello to everybody, like Chris and Daniela, who gave me the tour. It immediately felt welcoming. I love the environment and you know, you grow all your own food here and all this kind of stuff and I was like this is maybe a blessing in disguise, you know, maybe just what I need, and I can learn a lot from the people who are here supporting and running LandWorks, and you know, yeah, it’s positive education, yeah, yeah.
The good thing for me, you know, because I’ve struggled with emotional issues and anxiety, you know, scared to go to the shops, you know, it’s just horrible, just walking down the street and thinking everyone’s looking at you and just being so, so scared … so coming here, you know, like I say, the dinner table stuff, sitting there and just having a conversation, people making you feel human and that social aspect is a good growth point for me. Yeah.
[Highlights] The environment and the people. Yeah, the environment and the people, yeah, yeah. I mean it’s a beautiful setting. I feel safe. It’s outdoors isn’t it, you know, it’s outdoors, it’s all natural, you just feel you’re in a little bit of nature […] I mean you feel safe. I feel safe here. I don’t always feel safe and I’m definitely struggling with PTSD. I’ve been diagnosed with it, but because all of this stuff that’s gone on, that’s been a real challenge for me because I never really understood what it was like and I was like I’m pretty sure that I’ve got it, and any bad dream from the past, sort of like trying to … anyway … but I come here and … when I’m at home sometimes I don’t always feel safe, I hear a police siren or something like that, you know, all sorts of these weird thoughts come into my head, but I come here and I feel … it’s nice to feel safe. I mean because of the social interaction and just sort of coming out here and not feeling judged by people and people being … just treating you like a human-being, you know, more so than just normal society, you know, and that makes me feel safe, you know, and I feel comfortable to talk to people. Yeah, yeah.
I’m looking forward to the summer and just being involved in building new relationships and doing the half-marathon. Yeah, I mean that’s really nice, you know, and just to see how … it’s nice to start to feel settled, you know […] I think it’s nice because it kind of brings everyone together, and the exercise is good, and Stan said he might do it. Yeah, we’re getting quite a few people involved. I think that’s gonna be … you know, we’ll be talking about that after the event for a while. Everyone’s gonna have different stories, everyone’s going to be doing different times, and people are going to be in different brackets of pain and stories to tell from the day. I think it will be quite nice. I don’t really know how it came up. I think I might’ve said initially about people training for an event, “you know, the exercise and having the commitment to do it…”
A window into LandWorks 