A window into LandWorks

I’ve still got plenty of room to learn… my skills have expanded hugely since I got here, but there’s always room for improvement you know… and someone will suggest something and oh yes, that’s a good idea… and everyone is constantly learning new things… you know all the time… there’s no shame in not understanding something… but then up until about a year ago I was someone who you know, I don’t need help… I could do it myself, you know I was really quite stubborn… and then you learn to accept the help and then you realise it’s not as embarrassing as you thought it would be, it’s really not, especially when you’re only like 19 years-old like me… I had to grow up quite fast, you know it’s one of those…

I mean you know [my girlfriend] miscarried and she’s got all these things, you know… pregnancy tests, hospital band, first midwife appointment letter, her mum bought a blanket and everything for… and she wanted to get a shoe box for it and I was like well why get a shoe box? You know it’ll be a bit more personal and nicer if I just make it at LandWorks, and that’s where it come from really…

I sort of just went numb to it and I think that’s probably the best way I could have dealt with it, I dunno, when it comes to really emotional situations I tend to just sort of blank… it’s really strange, but I’d much rather do that than lose the plot… A lot of it is for [name], she still hasn’t seemed to let it go… it’s still very much on her mind and I think… putting her worries in a box, I think it will just be able to help her, putting those things in a box so then it’ll become an almost pleasant memory, not literally, but you know… a little wooden box, it’ll look nice and she won’t have to stare at everything that’s there you know, every time she walks in the room, it’s still going to be there yeah, and every time she looks at it, it’s going to remind her that she’s not going to be… but I dunno I think it will take the edge off almost… that’s what I’m hoping anyway…

I know she’s going to love it… she’s not going to stop showing it to people… which is the reaction I am hoping to get… I’m just hoping it doesn’t break her down, ‘cos then I’m going to feel really bad for giving it to her you know… I mean I know she’s going to have a cry at some point… but I’m going to feel bad when she does… I haven’t seen her cry about it for a good week or so now… so she seems to be coming out the other side of it…