“That’s the nice thing about actual art, I mean I’ve not sort of done art since I was a kid in school, but people can perceive it, and perceive it however they want can’t they, you know art doesn’t come with a label, saying you have to experience Transformation man like this, it’s down to each individual, which is kinda cool, that’s why it has been nice to get the feedback that it has because people have obviously thought wow that’s cool, for whatever reason and that’s nice because yeah, I didn’t think anything, you know I had no preconceptions about what sort of response it would get, it’s really cool that it has gone down well… it’s almost a form of therapy in a way… ‘cos it’s like me using something to express how I feel and how I’ve felt, so it’s like here’s a symbol of that, change for me, change in my life, getting to a better place, he replicates all of that for me… I am feeling positive about everything, I’m feeling good, whooo…
…It’s nice to know everybody has got my back, I am not taking my eye off the ball, I realise that at the end of the day I am an addict, you’re an addict forever aren’t you? You’ve gotta, I think it’s important to remember that, because you might sort of I dunno perhaps take your eye off the ball, and then slip back into an old habit because at the end of the day it’s something I’ve done since I was 16 years old, and I am 29 now and that’s a long, long time you know I’m just about starting a new chapter, a new stage in my life but it’s like going into the unknown basically, I have actually given up drugs for weeks in the past, over the years and stuff I haven’t done it every single week, I’d be a dribbling mess by now, but like I dunno, because it feels like now it’s finally something I am going to achieve, I know that you know, I’m just about to start something completely new, and there’s an element of excitement, but there is also an element of fear, because it’s like whoah what’s going to happen? Pretty much, but I’m finding being off drugs like sort of a new buzz really, like being straight and getting up in the morning and having energy, you know looking forward to coming into LandWorks, doing whatever we’re doing and yeah, so that’s like my new high, getting wrecked on being straight… ooh, this is a new high for me, but it’s the best, it’s the best because it means I’m feeling healthy, I’m putting on weight which was a goal of mine, so yeah there’s nothing but good…
…I can’t wait to have them back again, I‘m really excited about it… I think I just had to, I mean if I think about what happened and that, it’s so, when I think about the situation how it is, I think it’s really easy to feel shit about it, but I guess I’ve just tried to get it to a point in my head where it’s not affecting me, otherwise it’ll pull me down, and I want to move forward with things and basically be able to control the drug thing as well, being able to stay off the drugs has helped get that into perspective in my head, you know when I was on the drugs it was really affecting me, I couldn’t see light at the end of the tunnel, but now, you know, now that I’ve got a clear head and a straight head, I can see that light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s just trying not to look back so much, to look forward, it’s nice to be able to talk about it and for it not to affect me, it’s all good, I can get it in my head now, that it was terrible, but it’s actually in a round about fucked up way, it happened for, it’s made me, I dunno, I wish obviously it didn’t happen, and I’d do anything to change it, but in a round about way it’s made me, I almost don’t want to say it, but it’s almost like happened, and made things happen that are positive to come out of it, like I’ve never ever been able to give up drugs, I’ve never had back up around me like I have now, so something terrible happened, but something positive can come from it in the long run, I almost feel a bit bad for saying that but… it’s the only way that something can be made right, or as right as I can make it, you know what I mean, you know if I carried on taking drugs, just you know, my old habits stayed with me, that would be the worst thing in the world, but the fact that I am turning things around and moving forward, and I am on the road to getting them back that’s all I can do innit… that’s the best thing I can do, so yeah, whay, whoo…”
Reblogged this on sarah jane hodge and commented:
Brett’s latest update on art and transformation via the PeN blog…
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Hey Brett, it’s like I say I’m an ex-smoker, can never be a non-smoker. Why did I start smoking? Because all my friends at college did, because it was sociable. It was only having a baby that made me make the change that I wanted and needed, because none of us can change things unless we really want to and we have the support to do it, which is pretty much what you are saying So Transformation Man is a great symbol for making changes, oh, and holding onto a life-bouy is a nice touch! was it intentional – or is he going to take the plunge….?
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