A window into LandWorks

So Blaidh Nemorlith, Plymouth’s Poet Laureate did a poem about transformation man, which was really, really flattering yeah, it means a lot that anyone is inspired by my story, and for him to do that was really, really cool, really epic, so I thought it was only fitting really that we write the poem down, and put it up next to transformation man as a tribute to that really, I think it was really cool that he was moved enough to do something about it…

Well I am now officially 360 months old, and I’ve achieved exactly that, because obviously 360 degrees is a complete turn, and I’ve completely turned my life around, and coupled with that I’ve got 50/50 custody of my boys back, which is amazing and I’m just so happy and really, really grateful to this place because it’s been instrumental in getting the boys back, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without everybody’s input, it’s been so, so good, so supportive you know…

I’m really proud of myself and what I’ve achieved, I never thought I’d be able to beat the addiction really, it’s a long time 12 years, I don’t like to dwell on the amount of time too much, because it’s just wasted years, I don’t even remember much, it’s funny like when I talk to you, or Sarah or anyone else, about my earlier days here, I don’t really remember, I was wasted,  sad, it’s bad but I was just a mess, and I just have so many not memories, memories are not there, things that have happened, and I’m like really?

So now I’m really excited to create memories and have memories long lasting, especially obviously now with the boys, because you have such amazing times with them whatever you do, I want to remember them and cherish them…

What I’ve realised is that there is just not the help out there, unless you’re blessed to have somewhere like this, I think it’s really bad, there needs to be like funding and a lot of it, just to save people’s lives, it’s really sad, but they just, I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon…

…addiction in itself is, well educated people don’t understand the problems do they, I think people think oh well, if you use drugs and you drink all the time, you’re just a waste of space, it’s not like that, there’s always reasons behind everything, but it’s shortsightedness I suppose, I don’t know what it is, there needs to be more help for people rather than judging them, for a lot of them, if you don’t get the help it generally means an unhappy ending unfortunately that’s the reality of it isn’t it?

It was weird actually, it was just really, really liberating, amazing really, just having a clean head in general these past few months has been amazing, I’m really enjoying life you know, just being able to be healthy, putting on weight and stuff, I saw a picture of myself actually back when I was still taking drugs and I couldn’t believe the difference in the way that my whole skin and complexion, and you just don’t realise, I didn’t realise back then looking in the mirror, I thought oh I don’t look too bad – deluded, it does just mask you somehow, drugs you know, in so many different senses and ways…”