A window into LandWorks

Obviously, I want to sort myself out and get my own place and stuff. I’m having a new start this year. I just feel positive, and I just don’t want to keep going to prison. I’ve got my two boys to think about as well, you know. I just don’t want to keep going around in circles. I’ve been doing this for like six years. I feel like I’m stuck in the same cycle, you know, being homeless and then living with my missus and then falling out with her. I just want to basically get a flat, get a job, that’s what I want to do really, yeah.

I’ve been on and off homeless since I was about 18 really, yeah, obviously from being a little bugger really, yeah, from when I was younger. I just want to change now. You’re just like sofa-surfing and I’ve slept outside a couple of times. It’s mainly just sofa-surfing. I’d be living down Cornwall and then coming up and then going back down to Cornwall. It’s just like travelling everywhere really, staying with friends or family.

I was drinking all the time. I was drinking heavily, every day as well. Every day I’d drink, every day, literally every day, and then really heavy on the weekends. I used to get drunk every night like. After work I used to get drunk as well. I used to drink at work as well, before, when I was younger, yeah, at factories and stuff, I used to get drunk. I got sacked from a couple of my jobs for being drunk at work, taking in bottles of vodka. I had a really bad problem with it, especially through Covid as well, it made it worse. Yeah, I was drinking every day. I was drunk every day during Covid. Yeah, it was pretty bad, every day.

I started drinking heavily when I was like 18. I don’t really know why to be honest. I don’t know. I started drinking slowly and then I think I just started getting into it and I liked the feeling of being a bit drunk and then I just went over the top with it, I think. I used to be pissed … sorry … I used to be drunk all the time like.

All my mates would be out like sober and that and I just used to be drunk walking around town with a bottle, like necking it out of the bottle and stuff. I didn’t think it was cool, no, I just liked being like it. I never used to go this is cool. This was like four years ago. I was an adult like. Do you know what I mean? I know I didn’t act like one, but I didn’t think it was cool, I just genuinely liked being like it. I liked the feeling of being drunk. I couldn’t go anywhere and be sober.

Even if I was going shopping in Torquay I’d be drunk like. I couldn’t have a laugh sober with anything or anyone. I don’t know. It’s weird. When I didn’t have it, I never used to like feel ill or anything or I needed it. I’ve been in prison and never needed alcohol.

Obviously now, I’m not addicted to it. I just used to … I don’t know … you are actually technically an alcoholic when you’re like that, but I didn’t feel like I needed it, I just wanted it. I don’t know. It’s weird. It doesn’t make sense does it. I was always absolutely wrecked until I’d go to sleep. I’d drink until I passed out or go to sleep. I never used to be like half-cut and then just like drink a few coffees and be sober, I used to just drink until I was asleep basically. Yeah, all the time, I just got more and more like … obviously there are reasons, like I used to have problems and family issues and stuff like that, but I think then obviously when I drunk like that, I used to drink like that all the time then. I just got a bit addicted to it really. I’ve got quite an addictive personality.

Obviously, a couple of times it started getting me … I was getting sent to prison for alcohol related stuff and I was thinking this is just stupid like. I can never remember any … I’ve been arrested like 17 times, they’ve all been alcohol related, yeah, every single one. I’ve never been arrested sober apart from when I was like 13 years old for being an idiot in the park or something. That wasn’t even getting arrested, I was just spoken to by the police, but every time I’ve been arrested it’s been alcohol related.

Everything I’ve done, yeah, everything yeah. I didn’t even need to do it. I don’t even know why I done that. I had money. I was working. I just walked down to the shop and broke in at night-time and took alcohol. I had no reason to do it.

But I sort of had enough of like all the stuff going on outside. I just felt like I wanted to go back to prison for a couple of months really. When you’re in there you’re just … it is a bit of a break like. A lot of people will say the same thing as well. But obviously I didn’t end up going to prison for that did I. They obviously bailed me from the police station and then I had a fight with my brother and went to prison for that. It’s just all stupid stuff really … alcohol.

LandWorks, it just keeps you busy. Like obviously there’s other people who just speak to you in similar situations, obviously the lads and obviously the girls as well, people that are here from prison or probation. Yeah, we all have similar problems and that and it’s just better to speak to people like that as well. The staff are supportive as well, so it’s good, yeah. Yeah, it’s nice food as well. It’s good really. I like it here, yeah. Yeah, it’s good…

I’m definitely staying out of trouble now. I’m not going back to prison now. I said that three times ago, but I just mean it this time. I do actually mean it. I just want a new start this year, yeah definitely. I’m getting there.”