“I came to LandWorks because I can’t find work could I. So like I applied for loads of work, and I couldn’t find any work so … like I went to one job interview and like I didn’t get that. When I went to the licence review they said because it’s a life-time licence, right, and because of doing like volunteering in the parks, being a gardener, and I do like a bit of cookery some weeks in the * centre … it’s more like a lesson, and I do some maths … they said if you wanna catch a train to LandWorks … coz I said I didn’t wanna do building and that, coz I’ve never done building … so they said if you wanna catch a train to LandWorks then you can go there for as many days of the week as you want coz that would look good the next time we do a licence review, so they sent me here.
I was in prison 15 years. Yeah. It wasn’t very nice. It was alright but it weren’t very nice. But basically, if you got … like when I went to prison the first time, because I said, ‘not guilty’, they didn’t like that and because I got found guilty they took me off my methadone, which was good for me really coz it’s quite heavy stuff, methadone, and then I went to HMP but I didn’t stop using really. [In prison] Yeah and it wasn’t until that I couldn’t afford to anymore there, coz I was using and stopping to pay my debts off, so I didn’t get into any trouble for using really, coz I didn’t have the money, you know. I don’t think that prison was the place to get into debt over drugs coz you’re not going to be able to get away from anybody you owe. They could be like quite like bad about that.
So like after … about half of my sentence, maybe a bit less, maybe a bit more, I done about half of my sentence, about six/seven years maybe overall … it wasn’t that long before I left HMP that I stopped using completely because I couldn’t afford to do it. Coz it was a life of don’t do nothing for a month or two, and then get into debt again, so that was not really me anymore.
If I’d gone and said ‘guilty’, I probably would’ve just got out about half-time, if not before, so I was a bit stupid. Like I didn’t really know what it was all about really. I used to use quite a lot and as I was smoking a lot of weed and not that much heroin and using morphine as well, I thought it was a bit unfair really, what it was all about. But at the end of the day, I think it’s best to come to terms with it, you know, which is what I done really, and now, here I am, you know.
Before I went to prison… my life was pretty poor, you know, my life was like, you know, not very good. Like my health was gonna fail, I think, anyway. I was always really, really skinny and I always spent all my money on heroin and I always did all the work during the week or weekend, and at the end of the day I was wasting away anyway … so whether I wasted away in or out of prison, you know, and because you know, I always had some friends, but at the end of the day, I think, as long as you don’t bother people too much with your need for like escaping everything in prison, and you can pay up, I think it’s alright, but at the end of the day coming and … I suppose if the doors opened at eight o’clock every morning and you know, that was the routine, it is easy really isn’t it. Like in prison I didn’t really miss home that much because I don’t really make much of my life. it was just wasting away, you know.
I don’t think I was gonna stop using any other way. [Why start] I remember at school, everyone used to like a good time and we used to experiment with acid and cannabis and amphetamine, so by the time I was in my early 20s, my drug of choice was heroin because it was like the opposite of all the high ones, you know. I made myself a bit ill from all the high ones, so I just thought that was acceptable. It was quite hard to come off it, but I never quite figured that one out really, you know.
People died on it, my friends died everywhere really, some since I’ve been in prison, but not me because I’ve been inside, I suppose. It’s best to take the positive and I try to remember that it is really ok to be outside and make the most of it, you know. It’s good to be here in the countryside. I like that. As I never really tried like spice or nothing, I never really had like a problem with it. I don’t have no allure to go back to that.
[Highlight] Well, I think all the green around Totnes, that’s nice. I like the people, that’s pretty good. I like the people because, you know, they encourage me to do things really, and it keeps me busy and it keeps me … I like the food we get, that’s good, yeah. The market garden thing, that’s kind of new to me. My dad used to have mostly fruit and vegetables, so I know it a little bit but it’s not that new, but it is sort of new, those things are new to me really, I like to think of them as really. Like the clay, that’s new to me. It’s alright.
[Lowlight] No. It’s a bit horrid when it’s raining and it’s cold, but that’s ok, you know.
I haven’t used for that long, my key worker is there to help me find work. [Not using] About seven/eight years. [NA] I did a bit, but it weren’t really for me coz I did it in prison and that was alright coz I was on that wing, but it’s not like … you know I did ‘Andy’s Man Club’ and that weren’t really for me, I don’t really have a problem with suicide, and I feel … there’s always like a contact there, at NA, if I want one, but it’s not really my thing really, you know, it’s been that long. I don’t really … I dunno, I just like play it cool. I’ve got some numbers, I’ve been to NA, but it’s not really my thing, no. The numbers there, on my phone. I did go, so that’s alright. [Trigger] What if I use again? I dunno, it’s been so long, who cares, you know. I don’t really … like I look at my room, I’ve got a room, and I think you wouldn’t even have a room, you know, if you started using again … don’t think about that, you know. Life don’t work, you know, with drugs and alcohol. I kind of see it that way.”
A window into LandWorks 