“There’s a lot, isn’t there, at the minute about women going to prison, that a lot of their sentences could be done in the community and the devastation it causes in their lives … not because men don’t have children but because generally the women are the main provider aren’t they. It rips the whole family apart…
I didn’t go to prison until 2023, and that was only because … I was meant to go to trial, but at that point my mental health was so bad, and I was so fed-up of trial dates getting cancelled, you know, I’d mentally prepare myself, I’d be on a ‘warned list’…
Four times… four times I was meant to have trials, and it was cancelled. In the end I made a decision that I was gonna go ‘guilty’ because then I had an end-date and I was in control of things to a certain degree, and this wasn’t gonna carry on in my life. The whole not knowing whether I was coming or going as well as, you know, trying to keep my head above water, keep my children fed and clothed, in school, you know, all them things…
I think there should be more practical advice, there should be how you tell your children, you know, support around that, support for your children. Also I think there should be practical advice of like how you deal with your landlord, your car insurance, you know, you’re gonna become in debt because you’re not gonna be paying anything, you know, just little things like that … not someone’s gonna come in your house and just do it all for you, or even simply what you can take to prison in this country, as a female. All the advice out there is for males or for America, males in America. Then maybe a little bit of explanation about, you know, what to expect. Maybe some people might not wanna hear that, but also like there’s private jails and there’s government jails, and they are different.
A community sentence would’ve been better, yeah. I was in the community anyway for four years waiting for my trial, had I been a risk to society they would’ve had me in prison, so that was why it was pointless for me. I’m not saying everyone is the same, but you know, I wasn’t a threat to anyone … I could’ve done my sentence … by the time I actually went to prison I could’ve done my whole sentence…
Going to prison gave me an opportunity to be me again and to just have a break because my life had been trauma after trauma after trauma, and I hadn’t really stopped for a minute because I’d bring them up and then, you know, I was still a mum when I went to prison but I had the opportunity to kind of breath and just like … I didn’t deal with a lot of things, but still, that’s coz I probably didn’t have enough time…
I got out of prison and then I … my life literally went straight back to how it was except for … I had a stupid licence condition that my children weren’t allowed to stay or to even stay the night with me, when I’d been having them for four days, every fortnight, for the last six/seven months. I was just like what the fuck? So I went back to my old job, you know, I had a car, and just like dropping the kids off and making sure I was … coz I was on tag … making sure I was in the door by seven o’clock and just like … I dunno, there was no-one there to greet … Mike was there to greet me when I got out of prison, but it was like … I expected that my life would be just ok again, like before the arrest, and it wasn’t. I didn’t feel right.
I actually chose to come to LandWorks coz I needed to do … when I came out I felt very judged by people, even if they didn’t know what had gone on, I felt like people knew what had gone on. It made me quite paranoid. So yeah, I needed something with like-minded people that weren’t gonna judge me in that sense.
I definitely think you guys … I dunno … you helped just … this is a safe space, you know, no-one really judges anyone and that’s something that is hard coming out of prison. It’s that fear of being judged …
It’s the stability. It’s having what you have in prison, as in like the parent-type, you know, you come here, you get a decent meal, you’re made to be involved … not made, you know, no-one’s gonna drag you if you don’t wanna … but you’re encouraged to be involved, you know, and living, breathing things, you know, it’s always changing, you know, growing your own vegetables … I dunno, looking after the chickens, it’s all evolving isn’t it. I think you guys are like another parental … coz a lot of people haven’t had decent upbringings and that’s probably what brings them into the Criminal Justice System. So having that kind of parental type of thing … and you know, people knowing that they’ve got … not what’s coming, but it’s … I can’t think of the word I was gonna say … you’re expected to come here, you commit to it and that’s your commitment. I mean I think it’s different with some people because obviously a lot of people are told they have to come here, but then after that a lot of people don’t wanna leave…
I think it’s just having support, you know, even if you weren’t due in on a day and you’ve got something going on, you could phone up and I’m sure someone would talk to you. No-one’s ever too busy … you know, there’s always someone that can help with your problem and that’s just a listening ear…”
