“The reason why I’m here today is obviously an offence regarding my ex-wife and stuff and her family. I was going through like a bit of a mental breakdown, and I was like trying to see a doctor and by then the damage was done and the police were involved, and you know, I was dealt with by the courts. So, one of the conditions of being like sentenced by the judge was that I was to attend probation for two years with a supervision order, take part in like a BBR, Building Better Relationships, course and yeah, then it was a restraining order put in place. I wasn’t like physical or violent in that respect, I think I was just a man struggling with like the marriage breaking down and it was hard at the time. I look back and I think people there, you know, you’re so one-tracked, one-minded, you become sort of obsessed because she just chose to ignore me, and like looking back, if I ignored her, it would’ve been better for me because I think she would’ve come round in the end, but I think because I was bombarding her with just relentless text messages and emails and stuff, it got too much and I understand, you know, what it must’ve been like for her. I know she went through a tough time with it all, just as I did, you know.
So yeah, I was dealt with and one of the main things at the time that helped me was actually getting put on remand. Yeah, because basically they bailed me and then obviously, I like indirectly contacted my ex-wife, that led to my arrest. Yeah, like I say, I was put on remand.
Going to prison you know, it was the best thing that could’ve happened, you know, I think it was … my family couldn’t do anything, you know, they could only say what they could say so many times, you know, and the only person that can do anything about it is me, sort of thing, and I think, like I say, I was just struggling at the time, refused to see any other way apart from my way and the isolation, I mean I was only remand … I managed to get judge and chambers after two weeks, but that isolation for two weeks was … it saved me, I think, in some ways. I always like thought going to prison … I think it terrifies anyone, the thought of going, and I think the day I sat in front of a magistrate, and she said I’ll remand you, I didn’t even flinch, I was like come on, let’s go. I was that sort of like mentally, physically totally just done, you know, rock-bottom sort of thing and it didn’t bother me. Like I said, I went in there and it was the best thing ever. Like I said, the isolation of not contacting and it was just more reflection and even though the environment you’re in is chaos, you know, and it’s all walks of life, you know, it didn’t bother me. I got on well. I carried myself well. I didn’t let it scare me.
So, I’m grateful I’m here. I’m grateful I’ve moved on massively from it. Yeah, I’ve had relapses, but it’s one of them things, you just sort of like got to try to not let it bring you down and just sort of like build from it because even though today we’re here, it’s what happened like a while ago, and in some ways it’s like I think it was meant to happen or it was gonna happen. You’ve got to just try and not sort of be a bit better about it…
At the time I was suffering from really bad anxiety because obviously I’d stopped working and I like routines, I stopped working and then the whole stress and the worry … it was really getting to me really badly, mentally, and my anxiety was really bad, to the point where the doctor put me on medication for anxiety and you know, I’ve been taking them since and I do feel my anxiety levels have drastically reduced quite a lot, but it’s like I’m sceptical whether it’s the medication or whether it’s like coming here as well, you know, the way people are as well, and how I’m carrying myself is that I’m not sitting here playing the ‘blame game’. I’m not sitting here saying anything negative or nasty about anyone because it really doesn’t … the only person it really affects at the end of the day is yourself. Do you know what I mean?
LandWorks is perfectly located out of the way, no distractions and I think one of the most … the nicest thing I like about it is that it’s got to be like sort of sitting there dinner-time altogether as one, you know, and everyone’s just there for each other. We all get on, you know, and it’s just that there is like a big family sort of thing. So that’s the way I was always looking at it and then obviously when I’d done my hours, Chris was like this slot’s still yours if you want it, and I’ve still been coming here for the past two months. Obviously I come here every Wednesday. It’s just something to do and something to look forward to as well because you can be having a bad time and as soon as I bump into Steve … well, it all goes well then. It’s like really good. The people are amazing.
Steve … I think the first day, I’ll always remember it, I was like looking around thinking … you know, I think it was about two o’clock in the afternoon or something like that and he was like yeah, yeah, you know, this is what we do, like cut the grass here and that, and he asked me how I was finding it and bear in mind I’d only been there, you know, a couple of hours sort of thing, I was just a bit like, you know, I’m supposed to be giving back to my community but I feel like the community’s giving to me, and was just like yeah. I was like … joking … I was like is this a front for something? Is this an organised crime syndicate or like a pyramid scheme going on? He was just like no, no, no, no. He was true to his word, what you see is how it is and like I say, it’s been great.
I mean I think it’s just like I say, in some ways I’m always like going on about, you know, what happened, it’s like it’s almost fate because I’d never have known about LandWorks unless I got into trouble. But yeah, it’s been great.
Thanks, obviously, for me being here and that. Chris and the team, you know, it’s like I say, when you’re first here it’s like where’s the catch? But it really is what you see is what you get and it’s brilliant and it’s interesting because one of the guys, I said I go to LandWorks and he went I’ve been there before, I wanna go back. He has now come back again, and he loves it. He’s like I love it and it’s so good, like it doesn’t matter where you’ve gone wrong in your life, you’ve got LandWorks. You say LandWorks, it’s a different sort of like new-found respect, like oh yeah, you’re in the know, you’re in the group. It’s really good. It’s really nice.”
A window into LandWorks 