Matthew: building up to moving on

It took me two weeks to build it [the extension to the pop-up stall], it took me two weeks… if there were more of us here it wouldn’t have taken that long, I love it [here], I love it, I don’t want to leave, I have had so much stability you know, I’ve got so used to having stability…

It’s quiet, it’s quiet, there’s a lot of people out here that is, you know, taking time out of their own lives to help, like, you know, there are people here who are trying to help us…

I’ve got loads of skills, loads of skills, you know, my language isn’t as bad as when I first turned up, it still might be bad but it’s not as bad as it was, but there again as Sue says, Sue says to me a lot, like you know, I swear a lot, and Sue’s like, she minds, but she’s like Matthew it’s you, it is you, like, she wouldn’t have me any other way, I don’t know, if I’m really polite and don’t swear during the whole day then you know, what’s wrong with Matthew? It’s just me, it’s just me, but LandWorks has helped me with my language a bit…

It’s quiet and it’s nice out here, it’s not in the middle of nowhere, but it’s in the middle of nowhere, it’s a calming atmosphere, everybody here is like really calm, really you know, well you know we’re near [Town] and that’s a hippy town, so everybody out here is chilled out, everybody, I love it out here,  I do, I love it, I don’t want to go to Amber [the Amber Foundation] well I do, I do, but I am not going to be here [at LandWorks] for months and months, like I’m going to be at Amber for 6 months to two years, so I’m not going to be here…

My dad admitted it yeah, when I go to Amber, well he didn’t have me for the first 14, 16 years yeah, he’s had me every single day apart from six weeks spent in HMP,  you know over the last six years, and when I go there [Amber] he’s going to miss me like f**k, and I’ve said to him, yeah, I don’t mean it horribly, you’re going to miss me like f**k, but it’s just life for me, you know, so that’s the whole reason it’s not going to bother me as much, I’ll be fine, but my family won’t, I’ll miss them too, don’t get me wrong, I won’t find it as hard, I won’t get homesick or any of that, I probably won’t even come back at the weekends, what’s the point? I’ll still stay in contact on Facebook mind…

Knowing what I know now, I’d change my whole life, I wouldn’t change LandWorks necessarily, and I wouldn’t change Amber, but knowing what I know now, I would change it all, I’d go back and change it all, I’d change everything, I’d change my mum, exchange her in for a new one, apparently you can divorce your parents…


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