Simon says: “it feels like I’m coming alive again”

“You know I have to say I don’t feel like I’m back to being myself to be honest, that last accident wiped me, totally wiped me, I had to have pictures of different phases in my life and then I’d remember something from that and that would lead to another memory… Well the first one [head injury] nearly killed me [when I was in the army], but when I had this last one, five years ago it just scrubbed everything, I didn’t know the kids, I didn’t know my mum, didn’t know my family, I was bloody obnoxious, aggressive, it’s all part of the head injury…

So I’m sort of building, I’m just farting about doing the artwork, I’m sitting there and suddenly realise oh yeah I am quite good at this, you know I used to be quite arty because I used to do storyboards for my ex-partner, she’s a stunt woman, so I’d do her storyboards, it made it easier rather than her trying to explain something… most people will understand if you show them…

Basically [I’m here] because of probation…  I’ve got a new GP so I’m using him to wean down, to come off these pills that are giving me this Tyre… it’s just nice being sociable again, I’ve been so, when I’m up there I get so, I have to isolate myself I literally can’t deal with people because, I don’t know how I’m going to react, but now I’ve had the meds and [I’m] feeling calm and life’s like that, and not up, up, up, you just never know when it’s going to sort of kick in, but hopefully not now…

I’m blessed I’ve got a really good family around me, I’ve got a brilliant relationship with my kids and their mother and I couldn’t wish for more actually, they’re all thriving, I am not doing anything that’s detrimental to them…

[Coming to Landworks] I didn’t really know what to expect, I just know it’s cathartic and it’s a positive, I know I’ve got to do that work thing… I’ve really enjoyed doing it… and I know damn well that if I piddled about for a couple of days, it’s the same with drawing, I am quite good, but it’s only after my lead fell out of my pencil so to speak, it’s getting yourself fired up again, it’s like listening to music, once you get back there, stimulated by things, because that’s the trouble with these drugs, I’m not stimulated, well I‘ve been feeling dead half the time, you know emotionally dead, sort of thing, things don’t touch you, but you’re not living that’s the thing, [now] it feels like I’m coming alive again…”

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